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There are many different theories about what motivates us. In NLP terms (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) the universal drivers are pain and pleasure. Some people will be motivated by pleasure – they will be drawn towards those things which give them a sense of pleasure and satisfaction. Others will be driven by avoiding pain.

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The relationship we have with ourselves is based on a number of things, our genetic makeup and hormonal and chemical balance – (nature), how we are bought up – (nurture) and on our interpretation of all our experiences both positive and negative, throughout our lives.

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Our interpretation of the world is based on the set of beliefs we have about ourselves and our relationship with the world. If we believe we are lucky, we are much more likely to actually be lucky.

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Whether you are working with your partner, your teen age children or a work colleague the principle is the same. What you say and the way in which it is said, the tone of voice, the words you use and the timing of when things are said all have the capacity to widen the gap between you and the other person to let them off the hook as they can rationalize your nagging as unreasonable, or to make them think.

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Lonely but Not Alone

author-img Gina Gardiner     31 Dec 2018     Recovering Workaholics     0 comments

You Partners of workaholics find yourselves in a very difficult place. For much of the time you are expected to manage on your own whilst your partners are busy with work. As a childless partner it leaves you with great tracts of time waiting for your partner to be available to talk to or to do things with. Having them physically present is no actual indicator of your partner being available to you.

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When you think about who you really are- do you love yourself? Do you like the person you are or do you feel that you are in some way wanting?

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It Is All About Perception

author-img Gina Gardiner     31 Dec 2018     Recovering Workaholics     0 comments

Before we start to consider why it is important to focus on your perceptions lets clarify what I mean by perception. Through out our waking hours we take in millions of pieces of information. We take in information through all our senses. What we see, hear, feel, smell and taste.

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You cannot change the past.  What you can do is make sure it doesn’t spoil your present and your future.

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Pure love is very simple. You love the person for who they are – right now, whatever they are doing or not doing. In its simplest terms, you love them and give your love unconditionally. Many of us believe that is what we do, yet, the reality is, we love them, but we want something in return, this is called horse trading. A classic example of this is how we give our attention to others.

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One of the fundamental principles of modifying behaviour you don’t want is that you reward the behaviours you most want to encourage. Yet many partners of workaholics work against this principle.

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